Here's What People Are Saying About

Breaking Free from Boomerang Love:
Getting Unhooked from Abusive Borderline Relationships

I have read five books on BPD and have made the announcement to friends that your book is the sixth and final. I am ending my quest to understand this heinous condition with your book. For me, your book is the best closure. It’s time for me to move on after four years of mourning the loss of him and the marriage. Thanks so much for the book. You rock.

I have been pushing your book !! It’s awesome. I am halfway through and lived every page with you, along with many others. Thanks for sharing with all of us your pain and confusion. If I had to choose one word to describe my life with my BPD, it would be “confused”. I was constantly confused.

What you said (in Boomerang Love) struck a chord with me. No one understands how hurt and upset I am. Yes, I have to walk away. But walking away from something you love is so very hard. You are forced to internalize. Your book has shown me that I can do it ! And even more so, I will !! Thank you.

It was amazing to read your book. I sat there with a highlight pen, highlighting the statements in your book that I had said to my partner – never knowing that others were saying the same thing ! I am love, I give every ounce of myself. I am a magnet for these people – but never will I be again !!

Thank you for putting into words exactly what was going on in my relationship. Of all the books I’ve read on BPD, yours was the most informative. It gave me the strength to move on. (I’m eight months removed from a ten-year nightmare.)

As I read your book, I felt as though I was reading a journal of my chaotic marriage with my borderline wife, except I was reading your words. Your book belongs in the office of every therapist, as it provides a rare insight into the life of a person in the difficult position of recovering from the abuse sustained in a borderline relationship.

Though my relationship was long ago, the devastation left following the storm had left me numb to life for quite a number of years. Reading your book and then knowing that there was an actual “name to my pain” (borderline personality disorder) was like salve to my wounds, the healing element that had been missing all these years. At last I knew the “why’s”. Going back and re-living my pain, this time with “new eyes” that understood BPD, released those many years of pent-up pain.

Boomerang Love has really helped me a lot. I no longer feel that the problems are my fault and now realize that by my trying too hard to keep everything going, I actually fed my BPD’s problem. I no longer will accept her badgering or abuse directed to me.

I just finished reading Boomerang Love and although it’s hard to hear so much about myself, it has helped me to finally connect with the Land of Oz online support group and begin the journey – albeit feeling pain I never knew I had or could. Yes, I am raw, lonely and still confused – but I’m beginning. Yes, depressed and taken to many private crying episodes. You and your revelations have changed my life . . . and I just wanted to get to heaven fast prior to this moment. With gratitude.

Thanks, Lynn. I purchased your book, Boomerang Love, to help me maintain my path away from my ex-Borderline girlfriend. It was brilliant, and I found many of the areas covered very meaningful. I related to a hell of a lot. Some of the sketches at the back were also appropriate to what I had experienced. It certainly put a smile on my face as some of my feelings and experiences jumped from the pages. Highly recommended.

This book has been a life-saver for me. After a ten-year relationship with a classic narcissist (BPD, which I didn’t know existed at the time), I now know that it was not my fault after all the rages, the blaming, etc. I have been told that it was me for so long – some little thing I said or failed to do, etc. It is great to know that other people have been brought through this. Lynn seemed to have lived with my boyfriend also ! She hit the nail on the head with SUCH kindness and love in her writing. If you are confused and suffering in a relationship, get this book. It has definitely helped me to get free. You will no longer feel alone !

Thanks, Lynn, for the heartfelt thoughts on this confusing malady ! We do indeed take our baggage from childhood with us, whether we’re conscious of it or not. When you’re ready to break free, this book is so very helpful with just the right mix of encouraging humor, empathy and clarity.

Unless you have ever had any loved ones with BPD or are dealing with the long healing journey of BPD yourself, you cannot begin to totally understand the relief felt while reading this book. An excellent read with lots of BPD insight. If involved in a relationship where BPD is involved in any manner, you must read this book !

After two months of marriage, my new husband was unofficially diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I hung on for 16 more months and have the emotional scars to prove it. No one understands like someone who has been through it. As I read this book, I cried and cried. Ultimately, when I finished it, I felt so much better. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has felt the pain of loving someone with BPD.

I was in a Borderline relationship for two years. I have now left and wanted to express (in my poem below) how much this book had helped me in the healing process that follows. I strongly recommend it to anyone struggling with how to find themselves again. Lots of advice regarding coping skills which are much needed. It has been my constant companion during the last months and gives me great comfort when I need it most.

Tears fall like rain
I can’t see you again
The wounds are too deep
and I’m lacking in sleep.

From the emotional quicksand, as I gouge my way free –
It’s so hard to remember there was ever a me.
But then I surrender to a less scary place
Where someone gently touches my face.

Is it I am still dreaming?
No, it’s something sent from an angel above.
It’s my perfectly packaged passport to freedom –
and its title is Boomerang Love.

The most striking part of this book is that it clears the mistaken notion that is prevalent in being involved with a personality disordered relationship that the underlying problem is you. Borderlines make a person feel so loved, so secure, etc., in the beginning (high value stage) and then a free-fall into insanity when the Borderline completely changes for no apparent reason and you find yourself emotionally flat on your back, wondering what in the hell happened (devaluation stage). This book helps to see that the only reasonable course of action is to get out of the relationship. Borderlines rarely get better. Suffering can be defined as trying to change the unchangeable. Get out, get out, get out and go on with your life. A great book.

This is a unique book in that it presents how to become disentangled from a relationship with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder. Most books are aimed at the person with BPD and not the people on the receiving end of the dysfunctional behavior. The basic premise of the book is that someone suffering from BPD is going to keep your life on a roller coaster and that you can’t reasonably expect quick results or magical solutions. It puts the burden back on the person in the relationship to determine why they are in it and why they allow themselves to keep being treated poorly in the face of little change or no change. The parts that were particularly poignant involved articulating the pain of someone who is in love with someone with this disorder. It really paints a clear picture of what it feels like. The solutions presented are straightforward and practical. The premise is that the loved one of someone with BPD has to look at their own codependent behavior around trying to rescue someone who requires intensive psychotherapy and/or medication. It’s a reality that BPD is difficult to treat under the best of circumstances and it is just plain unrealistic to expect a loved one with this problem to suddenly get better by themselves or with short-term therapy. If you’re in a relationship with someone with Borderline disorder, this book could be your life preserver.

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